Thursday, May 10, 2018

Foster Care | Sweet Baby R

News, almost four months later.

In January we picked up a 3 day old precious baby boy from the hospital. It was so surreal. I got an email at 2pm on a Wednesday and then by 6:30pm I was dashing through Target, buying a carseat and clothes for him to come home in on the way.

I remember thinking in the car, I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. I imagined sleepless nights and crying at all hours. I'll never forget carrying the empty carseat through the parking lot, the stars twinkling above the hospital lights, the night air crisp and cold. We found our way through security and into the nursery where a nurse let us in. Since the social worker wasn't there yet, we weren't allowed to hold the baby but I could see the nurses changing him across the room and how small and tiny he was.

We packed him into a carseat, with a tiny knitted cap on and left the hospital with just a bag of blankets made by hospital volunteers and a few bottles of formula to get us through the night. We had dropped Breanna off at Witt's mom's house and I remember walking back through the door with the baby and seeing Breanna's face when she saw him, jumping up and down excited.

We let her hold him on the couch and then I asked Cathy how do I heat up the bottle? Having breast fed her four children we were both at a loss, and she heated up the stove and we warmed it there and I fed him for the first time (the next day she showed up with a bottle warmer and that problem was solved).

He had a lot of dark black hair, rosy caramel skin and later I would learn, big brown eyes.

When we got home Witt's friend Adam came over and he and Witt went out and bought a bassinet and diapers and wipes. For some reason the image of them putting together the bassinet while I held my newborn baby is also forever etched in my mind.

Maternity leave was some of the best weeks of my life.

Our precious baby R somehow is the best baby in the world. He struggled a bit the first few nights, not sleeping unless my hand was on his stomach. The smells from the womb weren't there and that was displacing for him. But he quickly adjusted and usually only cried when hungry and tired. Waking up in the night with him was a joy, and spending my days walking him through the neighborhood in the stroller, toting him to many doctor appointments and singing to him while I fed him are some of the best memories.

Once maternity leave was over I had to go back to work. Getting up for work after having been up during the night was so exhausting. There were moments I would wake up with the alarm and think, I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.

But like most things in life we settled into a routine and working and taking care of my two children has became normal. We've gotten onto a good schedule and I love picking him up from daycare and kissing his sweet cheeks.

Oh his case. It has been so stressful. Where he will be in the coming months continues to be unknown. Yet God keeps me here to rely completely on Him.

I hope to post more because I do want to remember all the details of his precious life.

For now I'm grateful...and waiting.

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