It's been almost 3 weeks since our family went from 2 to 4.
Three weeks since I went from taking care of myself to taking care of a 6 and 13 year old.
Three weeks since my heart exploded and my energy level went from normal to so.tired.all.the.time.
It's been incredible, hard, wonderful, more beautiful than I ever imagined.
There have been moments like tonight when I cried while watching Frozen for the 4th time because I'm so overwhelmed with how a 13 year old can push your buttons one second and then the next you are staring at him wondering how you were so blessed to get such a resilient, goofy, gorgeous child who brushes your hair and complains about how "nappy" it is and makes the most hilarious voices while playing battleship.
How kisses covering your face from a 6 year old and arms wrapped so tightly around your neck can feel so warm and amazing one moment and the next, when you are trying to walk through a crowded restaurant to the bathroom after your food just came can make you want to scream.
It's up and down, and all around, all the time.
But these kids. They are incredible. They've been through more than any adult should have and yet the love they have and the bitterness that is nonexistent in their precious spirits has me in awe everyday.
I wouldn't trade them for anything. Has it been perfect? No. They aren't trusting of strangers so meeting family over the holidays was overwhelming at times for all of us.
But one minute my son is quiet and reserved around my family at the beach and then a few hours in, he's grabbing my purse and doing a duck walk through the parking lot causing everyone to die laughing. He is obedient yet pushes boundaries, hard working yet wants to play all the time. His smile can light up a room and his potential is definitely there.
And my daughter is sweet and spicy, caring and affectionate with just the right amount of sass. She cries over silly things and clings to me like no other. Yet one minute she's jumping up and down saying, "I missed you Mommy!" when I was just in the next room, and then the next day I come home from work and she's so busy playing outside she doesn't look up.
Seeing Witt pray with her before bed makes my heart zing and hearing him speak wisdom into his life makes me proud.
The kids fight with each other and then they take care of each other, he insisted on trimming her hair but doesn't want to help with her homework.
They are complicated and just kids all at the same time.
I wouldn't trade them for anything.